My unborn child was often curious; he began to flutter in my stomach at 11 weeks. My doctor thought they maybe we had miscalculated the dates, but no we were right on point. Then the kicking began, they weren’t the normal kicks (one here, one there) they came as what I called “love knocks” six to ten soft kicks at a time. My doctor often joked that by doing this my baby was creating a special bond with me (I felt like an extra special mommy). Every sonogram throughout my pregnancy my baby did something extraordinary, so it seemed. The very first sonogram he looked like he was in the shape of a heart. The second sonogram, (checking for the sex of the baby) he was covering his parts with his hand waving at us. The findings in my sonograms became an office “must attend event” just to see what he would do next. The sex of my child was eventually revealed and his birth finally came on February 21, 1991. The doctor’s and nurses gave him the nickname “ the smiling baby”; my baby introduced himself to the world with a smile on his face.
The smile seemed to be permanent because it would not go away. His permanent smile was the talk of the maternity ward. Fast-forward 14 years, I now have a young, loving, funny, handsome, teenager but something deep inside was wrong, terribly wrong. My son had a dark secret that he felt he could not share with anyone. Self-mutilation and contempt’s of suicide had begun to surface in his life. As a mother who loves her children I knew it was time to find out what was trying to ruin my child and take his love away for us. One month later he came out to me as a young gay confused male. My son gained enough courage at the age of 13years old to tell me that he was gay. This is one of the reasons why I love my “gay” son.
He dealt with the pressure of coming out, not knowing the results. This extreme challenge especially at 13 years old is something that I would honor him forever for. He trusted me enough to continue to love him unconditionally under any circumstances. Throughout our journey of love and acceptance he taught me that “Love is Love”, anyway you look at it, and I truly love him for that. His experiences also taught me that there is a lot of hate in the world. I would not have recognized the discrimination, bullying, and hurt that other’s show towards the LGBT community. I love him even more for opening my eyes because I also found myself quite judgmental at times. I love my gay son for introducing me to a whole new community of great people who just want equal rights and the right to love whomever they desire. My world has become so full of new experiences, new emotions, and new challenges. I love my gay son for allowing me to experience his world, the good, the bad, and the ugly. I have grown so much as a mother, an author, a creation in God’s world, and a professional. I credit this life lesson to my son, without the birth of my “gay” son I would not have experienced “ TRUE LOVE”. This is why I Love my gay son. As I write I have a huge smile on my face, and my heart is soooo full of love. I am truly blessed. MESSAGE: Do not fear and shut out the unknown; embrace it, study it, you may find yourself in the best position of your life. In the beginning I asked God “WHY”, now I say “WHY” not.